I just spoke to one of the girls that I recently lost touch with. 

I miss my friends. I miss them a lot.

The relationships between myself and all of them lacked a lot. The bottom line is that at the end of the day, I was always happy when I was around them.  I miss it a lot. My social life has hit rock bottom and it’s really been affecting me for the past month or so.

This isn’t something out of desperation either. I haven’t given things a chance to really come back together. Things don’t happen in a day and it’s something I expect to happen. I want things to change but I have a hard time talking about it. I keep things in and that’s my fault. I just want things to be okay again. I’m at that point where I’m tired of pretending not to care. It’s so hard to do that. It’s just not in my character. I still love and care for people who don’t love and care for me back. It’s because my love is not dependent on someones feelings for me. 

It’s the only excuse I have for always wanting to reconcile.